Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Resignation Mail


It has been a great experience being part of the XXXXX company and working with you all. The learning experience and sense of belonging was great, but now having completed 15 months with XXXXXX, through nagging health-problems, I feel the imminent urge to take decisive steps about my future.

I was hired as xxxxxx and was happy with the kind of work that was handed over to me initially and I believe I did do a good job with those assignments. But of late, I am not personally happy at the end of the day, because many a time the assignments that I get to do, lacks the intellectual challenge I expect.

Further, my family is against my continuation of employment at a far away city from home as age is catching up with my parents. Since my job is not bringing me happiness, I think it will be better for me, my family and also for the Company that I resign my position with XXXXXXX. I personally feel I am a misfit into the corporate lattice, with too many not-important people in the real sense sprawled all across over above and below me. I feel the urge to have a little space for my self and XXXXX has failed to provide me with that.

Please accept this mail as my resignation notice. I would like to quit immediately, but if the company feels that I should serve the two months notice period, then I will be happy to oblige and follow the formal resignation procedure.

Regards & Thanks,
September 25, 2011

(NB : I couldn't stop myself from laughing after reading the last resignation mail I send and no wonder they dispensed off with my notice period! )

Monday, April 15, 2013

Is that all I am to you woman ?

I cry out your name, you don't hear me.
I shout your name with the last lungful, 
You brush the fallen hair off your forehead.
Is that all I am to you woman?
Unruly hair which slipped down on your graceful forehead?

I look at you with longing eyes, you look everywhere but at me.
I long for the day, when our gazes meet.
My silhouette is just a speck you avoid on your lens.
Is that all I am to you woman?
a speck on your lens that you always avoid?

I touched your fingers in the crowded street,
believing you would identify the fire, your thoughts kindled in me.
You turned around and gave alms to the urchins with a kiss.
Is that all I am to you woman?
a street urchin begging for your love as alms?

Alas, I wish!
I could be all that.
The fallen hair, the dot on the lens,
the street urchin you gave alms with a kiss.
I realize I am the least blessed; coz for you
I am just a stranger you walked by today in the crowd!

Picture Courtesy: Saramma Panicker, (a friend who drew the pencil sketch and posted it in her fb account and I felt shameless enough to use it without telling her. So thought about keeping this note for her )

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

pursuit of 'SOMETHING'

I stare into myself and see a big black wall, beyond which my gaze fail to reach. The little ventures to identify myself, in this world have not lead me anyplace. After all the twists and turns, the highs and the lows, I still stay at the same plane, pursuing the same trail I had once tread. I feel lost in understanding myself, lost in deciphering my place in this world. I am unsure, about what I need in life, uncertain of the purpose of my existence.

There is a void which has haunted me, from the time I care to remember. A void, which I know exist, but am not sure, what is to fill it and complete me. I have tried many a thing, to fill the emptiness in me; the slumber of alcohol, warmth of woman, the tenderness in love, the peace in wilderness. But, alas everything failed and the emptiness still prevails.

There is something that is missing in my life! Something more which is required to make me feel complete, feel whole and feel alive. But the "something" never surfaces and I still stand as clueless, as it was ten years back, solving the puzzle of "something". The romantic in me assures, it is the wait for the "better half" and boy, quite a long eventful wait, it really has been and not all the events cherished!

I stand helpless, I stand in grief, I stand in anguish, pondering about my state of affairs. The jealous mistress I am living with, soothes the edges, by cramping for time and making the conscious not think. But how much ever I try and maintain tranquility, the emptiness comes out bubbling, over all those things like the mistress and the home, which I keep over the void, to superficially fill me.

On this pursuit of something, I still am geared up, chests held high and chin tight. I wipe the white trail of salt from my cheek and look up to the stars and shouts at Mr God, the creator, "You are a fallacy, a farce and I do not fear you! I want to feel complete and the pursuit of wholeness is where I will find my happiness in"

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