Tuesday, May 31, 2005


My heart swells in the demise of my friend; she was a flower which never bloomed. With great pain I described to you about the demise of my friend, now it wouldn’t be proper of me to give up at least an obituary in honor of my friend. The idea never sprouted in my mind till today, the fault is on me coz I never thought about my friend, to remember some one you needs to have a pleasant memoir of the person and I fail to have one. All the things with her in it is a pain in the bl##dy a##, the way she was cut out from life will be a blessing to lotta people coz, she was a wild flower and such flowers cast a poisonous spell to the people nearby. Perhaps she might be alive for the world but not for me. Death is a certain and some people die in the hearts long before their hearts stop pumping life… a similar scenario. And its amazing that the friends and relatives of the deceased person doesn’t even give a damn thought about the poor soul.

But the thing that makes me feel wonder struck is the ability of the language. Use the same words to get the different meaning. Irony and sarcasm giving shape to hidden meanings and way to express the hatred that got born in you with just shade of thought about that person. Let the poor soul “rest in peace” till eternity.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Mission Hols A big Failure

Forty-five days have passed since my college closed, but I haven’t achieved the plans I made for holidays. Though lonely almost at all hours, I find this idling interesting. Thinking about what to do whenever the electricity fails and going through magazines and dailies as if they contain a hidden treasure for me. Falling asleep with books in my hand and waking up some time in the noon to continue with the reading, no brushing, no bathing… straight of from the last page I read before I slept. Long hours doing nothing and then crazy spells rectifying the mistakes in my computer, which are mostly non-existent and trying to make it the ultimate gaming pc! Long shower some time mid noon when the scorching heat of the omnipresent starts making me perspire as if I just went for a swim.

College reopens on the 1st of June and I am happy for that, but a little sad thinking about having to be involved in the vicious cycle once again – sleep, food, college, friends, boring lectures, assignments, room and then repeat the things in any order the student wish to follow. The time my college closed, I made a huge list of things to do, but couldn't fulfill a single thing. Thought about building up muscles, after all the effort nothing worked out. I did not even go near the R.T.O’s office to apply for a new license, and things like that… now I believe I gotta sing “Mein Aisa Kyon Hoo”. What is the big deal? Give me a break; I happen to be one of the most irresponsible guys the most vivid thinker could ever dream of… the usual spoilt and lazy brat.

Why do I always fail to keep my resolutions? Why do I always stop mid way while following my plans? Why do I sleep only when the craw quarks? Why do I sleep till the hot and humid sun wakes me up? Why do I prefer to eat after everyone has had their food? What am I trying to establish by wearing the same pair of tees again and again for weeks? Why do I engage in changing my operating system? Why don’t I have a proper conversation with my parents instead of the monosyllables? Why don’t I attend mass????? Lots of why’s and more why’s? Hey maybe because I happens to be the generation after the ‘X’, like The Hindu said in their article – The Y generation!

Got to catch up with friends, move out from the cocoon that I have made for myself. Venture out, meet friends of school, meet my college buddies, have fun, party and stuff. One more week at home and then back to college, to get closer to my dreams and stars.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


“Marriages takes place in heaven”, now it ain't my words, someone else’s! Then sure heaven gotta be here itself, in the god’s own country. Coz the toll of marriages is as heavy as it could be during this time of the year. Couple of our classmates got married and then two of our mates elder siblings. As I never miss a chance to have a free meal, I dropped in at three functions and sure had food. What else to do? I dropped in more or less because; I had a commitment to the concerned parties. I find sitting at my home more entertaining than being over there amidst the crowd and the humidity and not to say about the rush to the dining area. Seems like every single one gonna have a decent meal after ages. Christ, the whole thing is pathetic.

What does someone gain by getting married? An object to fulfill the sexual needs or better, ready and safe sex! Yes it is true to a certain extend; you don’t have to rehearse the lines every time you get the warmth growing up in you. Personally I believe two people waste their life by getting married. Along with the companionship and love, you get attached by strings which you never bargained for. Two people lose their individuality and their free will once they get married, both the guy and the gal is expected to share every single little thing that happens in the firm and while traveling and what not! Some say that marriage is a social institution for the development of human being as a whole (both in numbers and quality). What the hell? You don’t need to walk around the fire a dozen times or recite a prayer in front of the altar to have kids. And you don’t need to sign a marriage form in front of the registrar to believe each other completely. The faith that gotta be there between a man and his woman does not get transfused from the altar or the fire. Either its there or it ain't. Guys who get married with all the fire and forms too indulge in adultery. Marriage does not stop all that, it just provides the guy another mode of entertainment. It’s almost the same in the fairer sex too; they too are not left behind. Rather than all the elaborate rituals and functions, the only thing that is really needed is faith and individuality. Say something like – “I don’t go around knocking down dames and hope my wife don’t go around being knocked by some guy”.

Then the dough that gets blasted on such a day, lakhs and lakhs of money down the drain! Apart from feeding a 1000 starved people (which no one is, but the rush in the corridor suggests in the formation of such an opinion) and then having to hear what real good food was there or the complains about the papaddam being a little too small or the meat being a little too spicy. Nothing else is gained, a minimum of 300grands down the throats. At least, the money could be used instead for something else. But what …?

Even I may get married and I might find the things about which I bragged now as stupid. See u someday. If anyone feels offended, I am sorry, the whole thing is a little too open and no personal smudging is intended.

Sunday, May 8, 2005


Despite all the hoopla surrounding the mother’s day, not all moms will have the reasons to exult today. Some will not even be inclined or encouraged to meet the child they carried for nine months, let alone be pampered by filial love.

For ‘mother’ no longer is the last word for selfless love anymore. Motherhood, so well idolized by Bollywood, is under attack from medical science, that has marauded its domain and made motherhood as clinical as an IVS procedure, as soulless as a monetary transaction, or at best, an obligation for someone in the family who can’t conceive.

An article that made me attentive about this new trend is the story of a 26 year old Indian woman who gave birth to a half American boy last year. A former housemaid, she gave away her womb on rent for an NRI couple, who in turn gave her enough money to pay off debts accumulated by her drunkard husband and send her two kids to school. In addition, she got the Big Apple-settled memsahib’s discarded Gucci's. Delivering a Gora child in a swank city gave her a high; the fact that she would never see her child again after it was born does not bother her.

Surrogate motherhood has brought with it a blurring of societal boundaries and a breaking of stereotypes in relationships. If a woman’s womb is unable to carry a child to the full term but her egg and her partner’s sperm is good, a surrogate could have their child for them. Not surprisingly, girls who work in the beauty parlors and house maids are making a killing. With the going rate anything between Rs 50,000 – Rs 1 lakh a child, commercial surrogates are slowly becoming a much sought after lot. Bizarrely, some are in demand only because women with healthy wombs don’t want to distort their figures and cramp their lifestyles with a pregnancy.

Not that the medical fraternity finds anything wrong with the complete lack of emotions in the new stock of ‘mothers’. The doctors maintain that they encourage altruistic surrogacy; by it a completely devastated couple gets the gift of life. So you have a grand mother giving birth to her grand child as a favor for her daughter who is unable to do so. If she’s lucky the child will grow up to call her granny, never mind the birthing pains it gave her on its arrival. In short what the hell? Not all mothers are mothers.
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